


In This for Life

by fangirlsweruntheworld



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Mentions of Juke, Mentions of Willex, Mild Language, Semi-graphic Death, Sunset Curve pre death, alex x luke, minor homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27090529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlsweruntheworld/pseuds/fangirlsweruntheworld
Summary: “This wasn’t unusual for them, they weren’t ever afraid to be vulnerable with each other. That was the way family was supposed to be, not the way Alex’s parents had been that night. But tonight was different, Luke saw Alex fall apart completely, and he had helped build him back up again.”—A look through moments of the boys and their lives before they died. The story of how they came together as a family, moments of love, hurt, and angst and how even after dying, they would never leave each other’s sides.
Relationships: Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 110





	In This for Life

  
Luke, Alex and Reggie knew they had a strong bond, in life and in death. They spent years together and lived through their fair share of hardships despite being so young when they died. But they had always gotten through it. Even after the very end. 

In the moments while Luke Patterson was dying he had glanced over at his best friends and thought deeply about the short life they had lived together, and their journey to becoming each other’s family. He thought about his mother, even Bobby, and the show they never got to perform. He hadn’t regretted much, he had his music and his band and nothing else really had even mattered. 

— 

On his 9th birthday Mr. and Mrs. Patterson bought their son his first guitar. They had signed him up for lessons the following week and had encouraged him to practice everyday, even though Luke didn’t need convincing to pick up his guitar. Luke loved music from before he could even remember and knew that it was his one true calling the moment his fingertips touched down on the strings. The year Luke got his guitar was the same year that he and Alex became best friends. Reggie came into both their lives the following year, and from then on everything changed for the better. They spent every weekend together, pretended to put on rock concerts during recess, and turned their food at lunch into different instruments.

Once Alex and Luke learned Reggie was starting to learn how to play his father’s bass, they figured out that one day, they would actually have to start their own band.

—

Alex had always been an anxious child. He would chew his fingernails raw and would wake his parents up in the middle of the night because he could never fall asleep. Every minute he would be tapping, bouncing his leg, or pacing back and forth. His parents had taken him to doctors when he had been very young, overly worried for their young boy. The doctor had just written it off as him being hyperactive and recommended they get him into a sport or a hobby. 

Alex had never been one for sports so when he brought up that his friend Luke was going to start music lessons and that he wanted to too, they felt it was perfectly fitting. When they had brought Alex to the store to pick out an instrument he knew that the drums would be perfect for him. Something to tap on that wouldn’t make his parents worry for him. 

Over time whenever Alex was feeling anxious about something he’d go down to his basement and take it all out with his instrument. Luke would come over a lot too with his new guitar and they would play some out of tune songs and goof off together. 

Luke and him had been friends for a few years, since first or second grade because both their parents had been in school together and stayed close. But once they could start hanging out and jammed together, things changed. They had a bond that couldn't be broken.

—

For as long as Reggie could remember, his parents never got along. When he was very young they would try their hardest to not fight in front of him, waiting for him to go to bed, but that only let their arguments fester until late at night where it would boil over and they couldn’t stop it, even for Reggie’s sake. But he heard it, and he would push his pillow over his head and hope that he wouldn’t be able to hear them anymore. 

He would dream of having a stable family. One he could fully rely on. A mom that wasn’t sitting in the dining room a drink away from passing out and a dad who didn’t spend all his time at work to avoid his wife. 

When he started hanging out with Luke and Alex he started to think that maybe one day he could get that. 

—

When the boys were thirteen, Sunset Curve was born. Luke met Bobby when he was going to his guitar lessons and they got to talking while waiting for their teachers, and they chatted about their love for their instruments. Bobby recommended a few songs that Luke might like and they exchanged house numbers. 

Less than a week after meeting, Luke called Bobby to come over to meet Alex and Reggie and they spent practically every weekend together. They would all talk about their favorite bands, their favorite songs, and what they would do if they ever made it as big musicians. 

“I’d buy the biggest house I could find.” Bobby said, shoving another piece of pizza, that Luke’s mom had bought the boys, into his mouth. 

“What would you need a huge house all to yourself for Bob?” Reggie asked after burping loudly from his soda. 

Bobby laughed. “Man I wouldn’t be alone. I’m gonna have a wife and a ton of kids and we're gonna have butlers and maids. I’m going to be rich.” 

“That’s cool, but I don’t even care about that stuff. I’m all in it for the music.” Luke said excitedly. “I can’t wait for that day, when we can just soak up the applause while our music changes people before our very eyes.”

“Yeah, but money could be cool too.” Alex followed. 

“OH! And a super hot wife.” Reggie added. The boys all laughed. As if any of them had even kissed a girl before. 

—

Bobby’s family had moved into a new house when he was 14, which had a great big garage and a ton of extra space. When he had found out his parents were giving Bobby and the other boys full reign of the space to use it for Sunset Curve, he practically raced to the phone to call Luke to tell him about it. They would finally have a space all to themselves, somewhere to write and play songs. Somewhere they could find solace in and begin to shape the rest of their lives. Even at 14 all four boys had big dreams. 

Luke and Alex showed up first, basically jumping up and down from the excitement. Reggie showed up shortly after and they jumped up all over again. The boys were stunned at how much space they were given, with a loft and a bathroom too. Some musicians waited years to be able to play in a space this big. There wasn’t any furniture or equipment in the studio, but as Luke looked around, he envisioned their entire careers here before his eyes. Writing songs, rehearsing, and recording music. And when they are rich and famous with adoring fans screaming and rocking along to their songs, this is where they would come back to and remember how well their lives would turn out. 

“I really think I can see it, you guys.” Luke said looking around at his best friends. “We’re gonna be legends.” 

— 

Luke’s relationship with his parents started going downhill when he started getting more and more invested in Sunset Curve. He spent almost every night for almost a year, in the studio. He’d sit in his beaten up lawn chair writing in his black songbook, with his friends by his side, testing out new melodies on his guitar and mumbling new lyrics. Most nights the other guys would be there too, rehearsing and goofing around with the new songs that Luke would write. Sometimes it was just Luke and Bobby going back and forth with their guitars, speaking their own language through the strings of their guitars. Even after rehearsals Alex and Reggie would join them too, staying later than they should practice and laughing and creating their futures in the palm of their hands through their instruments. But always after a while Reggie and Alex would end up bickering too much and they all would decide to call it quits. 

Luke at that point would finally pack up his guitar and his song book, hop on his bike and ride home, where he was greeted with a disappointed Emily in the living room and an angry Mitch pacing beside her.

“Your mother makes dinner for this family every night. She expects you to be home to eat the food that she makes for you. You are a part of this family aren’t you?” That same conversation would happen a few times a week. And continued to for months as Luke would come home later and later, choosing to spend more and more of his time in the studio.

Other nights it would be about his grades slipping. 

“You know you won’t be able to graduate high school honey if all you pass is music class.” His mother would say, trying to keep her cool. Luke would just laugh it off, as if none of it was even that big of a deal. But he knew no matter what he said, no matter how many times he’d explain how music was more important than school would ever be for him, she would never listen. She wouldn’t ever understand. 

—

“Alex you gotta check out this new riff I learned this week.” Luke jumped up from his place next to Alex on his bed, hopping across his messy room to his guitar. Emily had told Luke to pick up his laundry days ago, but the dirty sleeveless tee shirts and smelly socks littered his bedroom floor. It was rare that Luke actually found himself in his room, rather than with the band at Bobby’s. 

Alex sat up and looked over at Luke waiting patiently for him to play. Luke’s fingers glided across his strings effortlessly and played out a tune that seemed to just flow out of Luke naturally. Alex clapped his hands against his chest and legs in rhythm with the music and Luke gave him a great big smile from across his room. He stopped playing for a minute and bounded back over to his bed sitting cross legged at the corner of it across from Alex.

“Do you think we could make something out of this? I feel like it could be a great song to add to the demo.” Luke asked. 

“Well considering the “demo” only has two other songs on it, the more the merrier.” Luke pushed at Alex’s legs next to him at the snarky comment. Alex noticed though how Luke’s fingers lingered a little longer on his legs than they usually did. 

There was a knock at Luke’s door and it opened to reveal Reggie walking in, tripping over a teeshirt in his path. 

“Reginald!” Luke exclaimed scooting backwards with his back now against his headboard to let Reggie get a spot on the bed. Reg flopped backward, his legs kicking in an upward motion, but the momentum was too much and he flipped totally over landing on the other side.

“I’m okay!” Reggie shouted from the floor. The boys laughed deeply and Alex reached his hand out helping his friend back onto the bed. As he made his way finally into a comfortable position, Luke’s mom appeared at the doorway tapping her knuckles lightly on the door. Alex looked over at Luke seeing him rolling his eyes at his mom’s entrance. 

“Dinner’s ready in ten boys.” She said coldly and turned quickly to head back down the stairs. Alex noticed the tension between the mother and son, and he knew exactly why.

—

The thing with Alex was that he knew he was gay when he was 13, and even now at 15 he realized he would always be different than his friends. When Reggie and Bobby would talk about their plans to get girlfriends and who they thought the hottest in the class was, Alex wouldn’t really say much, he wasn’t a very good liar so he elected to just say nothing and chock it up to his anxieties. When Bobby said that he liked the senior girl “with the big tits” Alex would feel his face getting warm with embarrassment and look away. 

Being gay felt taboo, even to him, and he had society to blame for that. He heard the way people would talk about gay people and he was scared of what would happen if people found out that he was too, he had heard stories. Even in L.A. He knew that the guys wouldn’t do anything to him, they loved him no matter what, but in conversations he definitely heard people throw around gay as an insult, and sometimes those people were his dad, and sometimes even Bobby.

—

One night Alex found himself alone in the studio, wailing on his drums, working through some of his anxieties when he noticed the large garage door swing open and Luke sauntered in with his acoustic and what looked like a stuffed backpack.

“Hey man, sorry I didn’t know you’d still be here.” Luke said as he set his guitar and backpack down near their newly, used, couch. Luke had found the couch on the side of the road and the leather was still in some good condition, so he basically dragged it back to the studio for him and his other bandmates. It was perfect for the nights when they just wanted to crash there and not worry about heading home after a late night of rehearsal. 

“No worries, I just didn’t wanna go home yet, ya know.” Alex said setting down his sticks and walking over to where Luke was perched on the arm of the couch. He sat down and patted the space next to him which Luke slid into with ease, their knees centimeters from touching. 

“Something going on at home?” Luke asked him. As far as he knew, Alex’s parents were nearly perfect. They were a little overprotective at some times, well most of the time, but they never enforced a curfew and always allowed the other bandmates to come over whenever they wanted. They cared about their son deeply, and just wanted the best for him.

Alex looked down at his hands and picked a bit at his fingernails. Maybe he shouldn’t have left his sticks over by his set. Even holding onto them calmed him down sometimes. 

“No, nothing is going on, just been feeling pretty anxious lately.” Luke slid a bit closer to him on the couch.

“You know you can tell me anything right.” He said while gently placing his hand on his friends arm. Alex could feel the heat radiating from his fingertips through the soft cotton of his pink t-shirt. 

“Totally..I just.” He stopped himself unsure of what to even say. How could he tell Luke that he was contemplating coming out to his parents, when that would require coming out to Luke?

“Is it about the band?” 

Alex laughed lightly. It wasn’t that what he said was funny, but rather that it was ridiculous that Luke would think that the one of the only things in his life that helped him experience real happiness would be the cause of a late night borderline anxiety attack.

“No, no man. I just, I need to get something off my chest. And I need to do it soon because it's been weighing me down, and I know I’ll crack soon if I don’t. I’m just...scared.” Alex felt his voice shake a bit. He couldn’t help it. 

Luke just gave him a comforting look, with his big doe eyes that he had, which Alex felt himself staring into often. He knew exactly when he needed that, a moment of silence to really collect himself. 

This felt right though. This moment now, in their shared studio, on Luke’s surprisingly comfy street couch. He just needed the courage to say those two little words. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Luke chucked. “You know I bet it's about Bobby. He has been super off his a-game lately don’t you think? I mean the other day he totally messed up the cords to Long Weekend. And sure we just started rehearsing that one but c’mon man, as our rhythm guitarist we need…” Before Luke could keep rambling on Alex found himself surprised by cutting him off.

“I’m gay.” He looked down at his hands again and noticed one of his fingers that he had been picking at had a small drop of blood that formed. 

Luke’s mouth made a small “o” shape, which he snapped shut quickly. 

“Oh, that's cool man. Thanks for telling me.” Luke stopped a moment and then said, “Am I the first person you told?” Alex nodded, still not looking over at him. He could feel his anxiety rising by the very second, which of course Luke noticed. Luke noticed everything he did, they were best friends after all. 

They sat in silence for a brief moment and just when Alex contemplated getting up and just running away he felt himself getting pulled into an embrace and Luke hugging him tightly. Without even realizing he had been holding his breath, he let it out, and let a wave of calm wash over him. 

Luke didn’t let go of him for quite a while, and Alex just breathed into his neck for a few moments. Finally Alex pulled away and smiled softly at his best friend sitting across from him.

“I don’t want you to look at me differently. I’m still the same old me.”

“Alex, nothing you could tell me would change how I look at you.” Luke beamed.

“Even murder?”

Luke scoffed. “Especially murder, you know I’d help you bury the body.” Alex pointed at him with a grin on his lips.

“Okay...so are you going to tell me why you’re here so late, looking all sad boy in your lawn chair?” 

Luke looked down and picked at a rip in his black jeans. Alex mimicked what Luke had done earlier and placed his hand on his arm, saying _you can tell me anything too_ without actually speaking. It was enough for Luke because he sprung up from his seat. 

“They’re just so ridiculous, you know? Like she won't even take me seriously anymore!” He shouted. Alex instantly knew he was talking about his mother. “She’s talking about enforcing a stupid fuckin’ curfew on me. Straight home after school. No band practice, expect on weekends. I mean...how could she!” Alex could tell his friend was really worked up about this. “I mean, how does she expect us to succeed if we are not practicing? I miss a few dinners a week and she does this! It’s totally not cool.” Alex tried to give him a comforting look.

Luke turned and looked at his best friend. “Man, I’m sorry this shouldn’t be about my fight with my mom. You just told me a super serious thing, and I’m just talking about me.” 

It was Alex’s turn to stand up and he walked over to Luke, and grabbed his hand. “Luke, man, it’s okay. We both got shit, and we're here for each other for reasons like this. I’m sorry Emily’s being a drag man.” Luke chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Were you planning on staying here tonight? You know you can crash at my place if you want to.”

“Nothing is wrong with the couch.” He said shrugging.

Alex pulled him into another hug for a minute then said, “C’mon man, let’s go to my place.” 

—

Once Reggie was older, and had more freedom to get away from the toxicity of his household more often, he realized that when he was home he noticed it so much more. The coldness between his parents, the way their voices got louder and louder with every bitter word they shared with each other, and how they barely paid attention to him anymore. 

Sunset Curve had their first big gig a few months ago, after months of playing at the pier and out on the streets, with only a handful since then, and Reggie had reminded his parents constantly that he wanted them to be there. Yet when the day would come, and Reggie was up on whatever stage they found to play, his parents were never in the audience.

Whenever the two of them would fight and the sound of his music up in his room couldn’t drown it out, Reggie would find himself out on the beach behind his house late at night, sitting on one of his flannels watching the waves wash in and out on the shore. 

On this particular spring night Alex and Luke had ventured over to his house and were met with the sound of Reggie’s parents from beyond the front door. They knew their friend well enough that when it was late at night, and Reggie’s parents were fighting, he would be down at the beach. The boys snuck around to the back of the house to make their way to the shore where they knew their other best friend found solace. 

“Reginald!” Alex yelled from a few feet back from him. Reggie’s head snapped back to see his friends bounding over to him, Luke with his vans and rolled up socks in his hands, and his acoustic strapped behind him, Alex holding onto the black fanny pack strapped around his chest.

“Reginald!” Luke sang to him, and Alex joined him adding a ridiculous high pitched harmony. There was something about their goofy faces that put an instant smile on his face. 

“What’s up guys!” Alex plopped down on the sand next to him bumping his shoulder into Reggie and Luke sat on the other side of Alex. 

Though it wasn’t unusual, Reggie asked “No Bobby?”

Alex laughed. “Oh you know him. He’s out with another girl. I honestly don’t know how he does it. He finds a new girl to date every week.”

“Well of course you don’t Alex, you’re gay.” Luke said. 

Alex had come out to Reggie and Bobby a few weeks after the night he had to Luke, and just like he hoped, his other two friends were just as cool and accepting as Luke had been. Bobby had definitely been feeling guilty about jokes he made before, but Alex knew it wasn’t intentional. They were family, and sometimes people make mistakes. 

“Yo, harsh Luke. Why does he need girls? He’s got us two hotties always by his side. I mean were irresistible.” Luke laughed deeply, Alex just looked over at Reggie with a soft, “Okay.”

Luke swung his guitar around and started plucking at some strings. “Boys, do you think we need to work harder to try and get some more gigs? I mean, we’ve only had two in the last three weeks. Nobody is calling us back.”

“Well it doesn’t help when the number you give them is your house number.” Alex commented. 

“It’s not my fault we don’t have money to get a phone for the band. And we definitely don't have any money for a cellphone or whatever.” Luke paused. “And I’m pretty sure Emily is still screening calls that are meant for Sunset Curve.”

“Still?” Reggie asked. The fights between Luke and his parents were starting to get more serious the more Sunset Curve got serious. Luke just nodded. 

“Maybe we just need to wait a bit longer? People don’t know us that well yet.” Alex said. 

“I don’t want to wait for people to know us. I want our music to draw people in. To change them. I want to work so hard we can play stadiums. Or even the Orpheum!” Alex rolled his eyes. Luke was ambitious about his music, but sometimes he definitely was unrealistic about his expectations of how things go. Nobody just books the Orpheum out of the blue.

“Alex, maybe Luke’s right. We gotta book gigs by doing. We gotta get out there and make them hear us.” Reggie suggested. 

Luke’s eyes shined at the suggestion. “Reggie you’re a genius. Boys, we gotta push and push and play until everybody's singing along with us. Sunset Curve is going to be huge, and soon crowds of people are going to be swarming to see us. I can feel it.” 

—

As Sunset Curve started to book more gigs throughout the summer of 94, their confidence grew. Their rehearsals were stronger, their voices more powerful, and the boys were cranking out songs left and right with the help of Luke’s speedy songwriting. Luke was out making connections with people, trying his damndest to get into music clubs and the occasional bar. Reggie and Alex were always by his side no matter what. Even at 16, they were starting to get the right connections, and friends, and they felt in a couple years, they really could get to play the Orpheum. Once that would happen, they would be legends.

What Luke wasn’t expecting with the growth of the band, was his relationship with his mother starting to get better. The fights weren’t happening as much as they used to, and the threat of not being able to rehearse was merely in the past. Luke compromised, he’d be home at night for dinner, and Emily let him use the bit of space in their basement to practice at night, as long as he didn’t turn the amp on high. 

But as Luke’s family problems were dying down, Alex’s were taking a turn for the worst, which none of them had ever expected. 

Alex’s parents loved their boy. They were overprotective and a bit overbearing but they cared about him and did anything for him. Sometimes so much that his little sister Lily would even make fun of him for it. And she was only seven. 

However, Alex mistook their immense care for him as the same thing as unwilling acceptance which just wasn’t the case. Alex had been out to his band for a while now, ever since that night with Luke in the studio. The way Luke had been so willing to accept him and love him regardless of him being different, was enough to give him courage to tell his parents. 

The whole family was sitting at the dinner table, picking at their food, making brief conversation, and Alex could feel himself sweating with nervousness about what he was about to announce. When Alex told Luke his plans the other night when they were hanging out at his house, he had taken his hand, something he was doing a lot more of lately and told him _“Alex, they love you so much. You’ve got this.”_

Alex had wished that had been true. 

“Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something.” Alex said softly. 

“Sweetheart, what’s going on?” He noticed that tone in his mother’s voice that he heard quite often. 

He looked between the two of them, scared of the worried looks on their faces. 

“I’m gay.” Alex said, so quietly he wasn’t sure he had actually said it out loud, until his father hit his utensil down on his plate, hard.

“Lily, please go upstairs.” He said calmly, his gaze not moving from his son, with nothing behind his eyes, as he did. His mother’s mouth was open slightly and her eyes were wide. He swore he could see across the table, tears brimming in them. 

His little sister got up from the table quickly, running up the stairs to her bedroom. Alex sat there in shock, unsure what was about to happen next. 

“I know…” Alex started before he was cut off sharply by his father. 

“Does anyone else know?” His father asked, and Alex stuttered unsure how exactly to answer his question. Instead his father just repeated himself. “Does anyone else know this?” 

Alex nodded. “The guys know, in the band.” He looked over at his mother and she had her hand over her mouth, looking down at her now abandoned meal.

“Alexander, you will not tell anyone else this information. Do you understand me? No one else will know. Do you understand how this could ruin our reputation? This family is established and well liked in this town. Your mother does not need to face the other woman of your school and have to explain to them what you just told us. I will not go to the office and have to explain to the men there what you just told us. Do you hear me?” His father’s voice was calm yet terrifying. Alex nodded. 

“Son, you’re probably just confused. You will find the right girl one day, and this will just be a silly discussion that we will laugh off.” 

It was unbelievable what he was hearing from his parents. He could have never anticipated this would be how they reacted. So dismissing and calm, yet with so much rage and disappointment simmering under the surface. He contemplated arguing with her, trying to reason with them, to make them understand it wasn’t about meeting the right girl, or it being some silly little thing. This was who he was and he wanted them to accept him regardless. To love him regardless.

“Until then we will not discuss this again. Do you hear me?” His father repeated. Alex found himself nodding in defeat. He watched his mother wipe a tear away off her cheek quickly and smile at him. 

He couldn’t believe this. Suddenly his body went into autopilot and he was standing up from his place at the table dropping his torn up napkin onto his plate, and grabbing his backpack he had dropped by his front door, rushing through it.

When Alex made it to Luke’s house, he was the one to open the door, and just one look at his best friend, he knew something was wrong. The sound of blood rushing to his head filled his ears and he couldn’t even decipher what Luke had called to his parents before taking his hand and leading the two of them upstairs to his room. 

With the door shut, and the two of them in the familiar privacy of Luke’s bedroom, Alex let it all out. A choked back sob escaped his mouth and his breathing turned shallow and quick. He clutched at his chest, the feeling of not being able to breath was overwhelming, but he couldn’t remember how to make it stop. 

Luke’s words sounded like distant TV static, and nothing he was saying could be heard or even remotely getting through to him. Everything felt dark until Luke rested his hand on his arm, the way he has done a thousand times before. He didn’t know how long he sat there hyperventilating until something clicked in his brain and he opened his eyes to see Luke’s concerned eyes staring into his, him kneeling in front of his crumpled form that had somehow made its way onto his bedroom floor. 

“Alex, breathe man, c’mon man, I need you to breathe.” After a few moments, Alex could feel his breathing start to go back to normal, and the pain in his chest was starting to dissipate. 

“That’s good, hey, that’s good Alex.” Alex felt his muscles loosen and suddenly he was slumped against Luke’s chest, sobbing softly. “They said…” He tried to get the words out but couldn’t.. Luckily Luke cut him off. 

“You don’t need to tell me. You don’t have to talk about it. C’mon let's just get you off the floor. I think something has been growing in this laundry.” Somehow Luke’s joke actually resonated with him, and he found himself laughing. How he managed to make that happen, he never knows. 

Luke helped him stand up, and walked with him over to the edge of the bed where they sat, pressed up side by side, Luke’s arm draped around his shoulder comfortingly.

“I’m sorry, Luke.”

“Dude, please don’t apologize. I told you I was here for you, for anything.” 

Alex raked a hand through his disheveled blonde hair, and wiped at his face which still was streaked with tears. These boys had seen each other cry countless times. Bobby cried when his first real relationship had ended, and Reggie had cried to them the day that his father had hit him across the face, and Luke had cried almost every time he had run to the studio late at night after another useless fight with Emily. This wasn’t unusual for them, they weren’t ever afraid to be vulnerable with each other. That was the way family was supposed to be, not the way Alex’s had been that night. But tonight was different, Luke saw Alex fall apart completely, and he had helped build him back up again.

“Luke, they acted like I had told them I failed a math test and said he never wanted me to bring it up again. As if I didn’t open up about my literal identity. He said he would never want to hear about it again. They’re never going to accept me.” Alex choked on the last bit of words. 

“Then fuck them. Okay? You don’t need them. You’ve got Reg and Bobby, and me. We’re your family. And we’re all you’re ever going to need.” Luke grabbed his hand again and held it tightly, as if trying to reassure him even more through his touch. 

Alex smiled at him and rested his head on Luke’s shoulder, gripping his hand tighter, and Luke rubbed circles into his hand. This felt safe. 

Later that night, hours after Alex had fallen asleep in Luke’s bed, which Luke had cleared the side of of dirty clothes and crumpled up pages with forgotten lyrics, he awoke to a small lamp on the other side of the bed, and Luke laying on his back, writing into a small brown notebook pressed up against his knees, one he wasn’t sure that he had even seen before. Alex thought for a second he was dreaming, forgetting the whole night, him getting to Luke’s house, his breakdown. Luke had fallen asleep around the time Alex had so he was kind of surprised to see him awake. 

“What’re you writing?” Alex asked, groggily. Luke snapped his head over to the side of the bed Alex was laying on, his eyes wide, totally not expecting his friend to be awake. 

“Sorry, I didn’t think the light would wake you. I can turn it off if you want.” Strangely it seemed Luke was avoiding the question. “I woke up a little bit ago and couldn’t fall back to sleep.”

Alex pushed himself up on his elbow and looked over at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. It read 3:15am, he couldn’t believe he had been asleep for so long. 

Alex smiled softly, looking over the edge of the book to try and decipher Luke’s scribbling he claimed to be handwriting. Before he could make out any of the writing, Luke snapped the book shut, as if the contents of the notebook were top secret. 

“What’re you writing?” Alex repeated his question from before. Luke placed the book closed on his nightstand and turned to slide onto his side and face him, just a few inches away from the other boy. 

“I don’t know if I should tell you.” 

“Is it about somebody? About a girl?” He tried to keep his tone lighthearted but something in him would have been disappointed if Luke had been into a girl. He had a girlfriend for a bit when the two of them were freshman, but it hadn’t lasted long, what with Sunset Curve becoming a band, and his love for music outweighing any silly young relationship. But it made Alex wonder if Luke was keeping some secret crush from him, writing love songs in a lyric book he’d never seen before. 

“Oh God, no.” Luke laughed. 

Alex raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Okay.” He said, ready to just drop it.

“Alex…” Luke said, barely above a whisper and Alex felt his heart jump a little bit. Alex didn’t know the moment when he started falling for his friend, but he was noticing his feelings more and more. When Luke would grab at his shoulders, telling him how amazing he sounded when they played together, or when he would hold his hand for a moment when he knew Alex was upset. Sometimes, and maybe it was all in his imagination he felt like Luke flirted with him sometimes. Or even like tonight, when he held him against his chest while he sobbed into him. There were so many moments. But Luke was his friend...nothing could happen between them. 

Or maybe it could.

Luke found himself running his hand softly through Alex’s hair and he repeated his name. The other boy found himself closing his eyes slowly at the moment of contact, feeling Luke run his nails softly on his scalp. 

“I can’t tell you, because…” He stopped. His voice still just barely above a whisper. “It’s about us.” Alex’s eyes flew open.

“Us?” He choked.

“Yeah, you dork, us.” Luke’s hand moved out of his hair and rested on his cheek, his thumb slightly moving against his skin. It felt like they were mere centimeters away at this point. “Do you...did I misread all of this? Should I not have said something?” Luke’s cheeks burned with embarrassment at the thought that maybe Alex wasn’t returning any of his feelings. 

“You have feelings too? For me?”

Suddenly there was a dorky smile that spread across Luke’s face. “I had thought you already knew? I didn’t think I was being very subtle. But, uh, yeah I think I do. I really do.” Luke glanced down at Alex’s lips then back to his eyes, and suddenly Alex felt himself surge forward and press his lips against his friend’s, hard. 

He could feel Luke ignite against him, and the hand that had once been resting on his cheek, slid completely around and pressed against his back pushing his chest to his, the two boys closer than they possibly could be. As their lips moved against each other vigorously, Alex snaked his arm around his waist and held onto him tightly, like their lives depended on the two of them being so close to each other. After only a few moments, the two broke apart and Luke’s hands moved back to cup his face again, and quickly he pressed his lips against his again, getting right back in it, before both started to laugh a bit, and they pulled apart breathlessly. 

“That was…” Alex couldn’t even find the words to say in him, just let his eyes roll back into his head. Luke pressed his forehead against him gently. 

“Nice.”

“Ha, yes. Very nice.” 

—

Alex and Luke spent many nights after that together, legs intertwined and their chests right up against each other. They spent hours kissing each other, some nights slow and soft, and others heated and intense. Luke would kiss down to his neck, sucking gently on the spot just below his jaw, and Alex would try to stay calm from the pleasure that was building in his chest. 

Alex eventually went back to his house, a few nights after his panic attack, and Luke and his first kiss, and he was greeted by his parents flat out ignoring him. As they continued to not speak to him, and treat him like a ghost in his own home, he packed a backpack with a few days worth of different clothes, and headed to Luke’s house. 

Luke had explained to Emily that Alex and his parents were having problems and if it was okay if he stayed for a little while. He didn’t explain that Alex was gay, for it wasn’t really his place to, and he didn’t explain that they were together, or whatever they were. 

Emily welcomed him back in with open arms, making sure to tell him that he was welcome anytime. She had even offered to set up the spare bedroom for him.

In fear of not getting to sleep beside Luke he just said, “No Mrs. Patterson, you don’t have to go out of your way to do that. Thanks though.”

  
“Yeah, he can just crash in my bed, Mom.” Luke said as he shuffled the two of them up the stairs away from his mom who was shouting up to him, “At least pick up those clothes!” but he didn’t answer, too preoccupied with rushing them into his bedroom, closing the door quickly and pressing Alex against it. 

Their mouths met each other instantly, and it felt like sparks were flying between them, small little jolts of energy created by the two of them connecting. 

“Hey.” Luke said, bashfully, as they pulled apart. 

Alex ran his hands through Luke’s hair, with a soft “hey” back. 

Luke moved and hopped over to his bed, patting the space next to him to get Alex to sit down next to him, something he did a million times before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke asked. 

“That kiss just then? Yeah it was pretty hot.” Luke laughed. 

“Yeah we can talk about that, but I actually meant what happened when you saw your parents. Did they say anything? Did they talk about the fact you haven’t been home in three days?” 

Shaking his head he said “My dad barely even looked at me. My mom I think was locked in her room, clearly too scared to face me. I didn’t even bother trying to say anything to them. I just went upstairs and packed my backpack and headed here.” Luke frowned. 

“I’m sorry, I wish they weren’t being so sucky about this.” Luke took his hand in his. 

Alex squeezed his hand back, “I’m glad I have you though.”

——

As the summer went on, and Luke and Alex spent more time _together_ , it didn’t take Reggie and Bobby long to notice that things were different. They were closer, physically closer, like they were glued at the hip. They showed up to the studio together, and they left together. The two boys didn’t bother asking them, waiting for them to say it on their own time.

Practices were heating up more and more, and Sunset Curve’s sound was coming together. Luke had written enough songs for them to fill at least a couple albums, but they started by recording their own demo with all accumulated tips from gigs. Their connections they made earlier in the year had definitely paid off, and all the boys really could see this band taking them places. Once school started up for the boys again Luke would skip most days, hiding away at the studio practicing, singing, and writing. Alex would show up after lunch and they would play together, until their other best friends showed up, and they’d practice some more. 

One day, when Luke was ditching his classes, Reggie showed up around lunch time, usually right before Alex did, and grabbed his bass and sat down next to Luke in one of the lawn chairs. 

“Hey man.” He said strumming lightly. 

“What’s going on Reg.” It wasn’t unusual for him to skip out on school, all the boys took Sunset Curve as a priority over school.

“Are you gonna talk about what's been going on man?” Reggie wasted no time. “You’ve gone to school like three times in the past two weeks. The teachers have been talking man, I’ve heard some of it. They’re going to expel you if you don’t get your attendance up. And God only knows how Emily would react if…” He trailed off. 

Luke knew that ditching school so much would eventually come back to him, but he wasn’t sure that he even cared. If it meant getting a record deal, and booking a tour with Sunset Curve then he would drop out of school all together. Which he had been contemplating for a hot minute now. 

“Reg, would you judge me if I said that I didn’t want to go back to school?” 

Reggie’s eyes grew wide. “You wanna drop out man? Like drop out, drop out?” 

Luke shrugged. He wasn’t totally sure. He wasn’t doing great in his classes even before he started ditching, school had really never been his thing.

“If you decide that's what you want to do, I’m not going to judge you. Bobby and Alex neither.” Luke smiled at his friend. Reggie was always so supportive. “Speaking of… what’s been up with you and Alex man?” He said while leaning over and poking Luke in the shoulder. He shoved his hand away playfully.

Luke told him the story of the night that Alex came over panicking after coming out to his parents. He told him about how he realized that he had feelings for Alex a little while before then, but after that moment of holding him on his floor, he really understood what those feelings were. He told Reggie about Alex kissing him, leaving out some of the heavier details. 

Reggie sat and listened and he had a great big grin plastered on his face. 

“Man, you seem happy. It’s really good. You’ve come a long way.” Luke raised an eyebrow at him. “Like this time last year you were camping out here basically, jumping from Alex and my house to avoid going home, stressing out about everything with your mom. And now, I don’t know, you just seem really good.” Of course Reggie would be so aware in his total mood shift, he was always paying attention to his friends, no matter what.

“Yeah bro, I’m really good” Luke smiled 

—

Everything changed when Luke had decided he was going to tell his parents he was going to quit school, that after Christmas break, he wasn’t going back.

Sunset Curve was one step closer to actually booking a gig at the Orpheum and he realized, now was the time to be all in.

Talking to the rest of the band had gone basically how he thought it would. They definitely were shocked a bit by the finality of his decision, but supported him nonetheless. Luke never had plans of graduating and going off to college. He saw himself as a rockstar, playing the songs he wrote alongside his best friends, with flashing lights and adoring fans. School was only going to get in his way. 

Emily had started getting calls from Luke’s school multiple times, and every time she did, it would result in a fight between the two of them. Once was the time of peace between the mother and son, and Luke wished they could’ve been like that all the time, but frankly it was just unrealistic. 

The last straw was when Luke was not only skipping classes again, but he skipped out on family dinners for a few weeks again, as he spent more nights with Alex. Which had been their agreement—Luke would be home for dinner at night and Emily would let them stay in the band. 

Emily had started the argument when Luke came back from Alex’s. She was waiting in the living room for him, and during their disagreement about his lack of attendance at school, Luke told his mother right there that he made the decision to drop out, not even waiting for his father to get home from work. All hell broke loose between them. They screamed at each other, way more than they ever had before, saying things they both knew they could never take back.

Emily told him she wished she had another son, and him saying he wished she wasn't his mother. Her telling him that if he dropped out he would be forced to quit the band, and Luke yelling to her that he was leaving and never coming back. 

“You are not going anywhere! If you leave I will have the cops drag you back here” as he screamed over her. “You’re suffocating me. I can do what I want!”

“Like hell you can Luke.” 

“You can’t make me quit the band!” He shouted furiously while packing a blue backpack he had grabbed, shoving a sweatshirt into it that he left on the chair in the living room. While he collected more of his things, including his guitar, Emily right on his heels screaming even more.

“I am your mother! I can make you do whatever I want! Do not leave this house!” She yelled over him. Before she could stop him he was already out the front door, hopping on his bike while his mother yelled “No, no no!” and ran after him. He couldn’t look back at his mother sobbing behind him.

—

Luke found himself at the studio, which was dark along with Bobby’s house being dark too. It wasn’t too late so the family must have not been home. He walked in and it was like instantly the silence felt deafening. He dropped down to his knees, burying his face in his hands, letting his anger shift to sadness. He knew that what he just did, cut ties with his family, and he couldn’t go back. 

Hours later Bobby and his family came back home to find the light on in the studio. He knew by now that whenever the lights were on this late at night, Luke was more than likely crashing there. He walked over to the garage and peered through the window to see a crumpled up Luke on the floor. Bobby contemplated going in and comforting him, but felt like he was the wrong person for the job at this point. 

After getting back into his house, he went right to the phone, dialing his friend. “Alex, hey man. You might wanna head over here.” 

Ten minutes later, Alex pulled up on his bike, setting it next to Luke’s. He opened the garage door slowly to see Luke laying on his couch, clutching his guitar the way a child would clutch a blanket, and he moved over to where he was sitting, moving his legs out of the way so that he could sit down. 

“Hey.” Luke said in protest to being moved. Alex gave him a look. 

“Bobby called me. What’s going on man?” Alex asked while rubbing at Luke’s legs that were now resting in his lap. 

So Luke broke down, full of frustration and anger and sadness. He told Alex all about his mother and his argument, how she threatened to make him quit the band and how she wouldn’t let him dropout of school. Alex sat and listened, nodding every couple minutes to make sure he knew that he was fully listening. 

Luke sat up and put his head in his hands once again, leaning against his knees. Alex rubbed his back comfortingly. “You guys were both hurt. It’ll pass, the same way it always does.” He kissed the side of his head, resting his forehead against it. 

“I can’t ever go back there Alex. I don’t want to. She is trying to take everything from me.” Alex nodded. This could be a conversation for another time. But he knew he had to convince Luke to go home, the same way he had done for him when he left home and crashed at Luke’s for almost two weeks. 

But that conversation never came, and Luke put everything he could into writing more music, and practicing, and eventually they were officially booked for a gig at the Orpheum. It wouldn’t be until April, but four months was plenty of time to get merchandise and more copies of their demo made for the show. 

Luke never went back to school, just as he said he had.

Six weeks after leaving his home for good, the band rehearsed their first ballad. 

Eight weeks later they booked enough gigs back to back to consider it a tour. First stop at the Orpheum, seven more around California. They were almost there. 

—

With the anticipation of the tour, tensions grew more and more between the band. Reggie and Alex were bickering more often than not, Bobby had a new girlfriend that he was spending too much time with, and Luke was snapping. 

If someone missed a chord he would be sure to tell them. If Alex added an extra drum beat to what they had agreed on, he would snap at him. They cut him a break though, he hadn’t been home in months, and the stress was definitely getting to him. If this tour didn’t launch their career, everything would’ve been for nothing. 

—

Luke laid on the couch, with Alex squeezed in next to him, their heads resting against each other, both breathing softly. This is how they found themselves often after rehearsal. Holed up in the studio which Luke had made his new home, on the small leather couch, just breathing together, not even really talking. Alex’s parents still barely spoke to him, and hadn’t mentioned his coming out again, and Luke had tried once to get the courage to go home, making it all the way to his front yard before turning back. That didn’t happen again.

“Alex. You know I love you right?” Luke whispered softly. Alex looked up at him through his eyelashes to see a sad expression on his face. 

“Course.” He said softly. 

Luke swallowed hard. “And you know I would probably die if I ever lost you right? Reg and Bobby too, but mostly you.” Alex didn’t understand what he was talking about. He wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I’m worried that if we keep doing...this…” He moved his hand in a gesture that meant _the two of us_ “I’m going to lose you.” Alex blinked slowly, taking in the meaning of what he was referring to. _He’s breaking us up_

“Luke, you will never lose me. C’mon man, we agreed, were in this for life.” 

“Yeah, best friends, but this...relationships end, a lot. Look at Bobby. Look at how heartbroken he is everytime that he and a girl break up.”

Alex shook his head, sitting up now. “That’s not the same, that’s not us.” But Alex ultimately understood where Luke was coming from. If they kept dating, or whatever it was that they were doing, it could end badly, and their friendship would have to end too. And Sunset Curve. 

“Alex, maybe we're better as friends. We promised to be friends til the end. And I don’t want to jeopardize that. I don’t want something to happen like it did with…” _Emily._ Alex suspected that was where this was all coming from. “I don’t want to have to write an Unsaid Emily for you.” Tears were starting to form in his eyes and he wiped at them quickly. The two boys sitting facing each other. Alex took Luke’s hands in his, the way he had a hundred times before. 

“Luke, I think...you’re right. This friendship means more to me than anything else. If you’re worried, then well stop this. And if we find that we want to start it up again, then we can. But Sunset Curve, and our friendship...that's the main focus here, okay?” Luke nodded, a stray tear escaping. 

Alex pulled him in by his neck, holding him against him. “I love you more than anything.” He said and kissed his temple lightly, before Luke pulled him in for one last searing kiss, whispering against his lips. 

—

“So I think we start the set with Now or Never, then move to Get Lost, we do My Name is Luke, Crooked Teeth, which has a great drum solo for Alex, then close with Long Weekend. What do you guys think? And we can skip on Bright this time around...it’s not fully fleshed out yet.” Luke tapped his pen against the notebook resting on his lap and looked around at his bandmates seated around him. 

“I don’t know man, I feel like we gotta close with Now or Never, I think it’s our best.” Reggie said. Alex pointed at him in agreement, Bobby nodding along.

“Alright, deal. We'll close with Now or Never.” Luke grinned largely, they were mere weeks away from their gig at the Orpheum, everything was coming together. “Our lives are about to change forever you guys.” 

“Let’s get back to it.”

—

As they got ready to go on for their sound check, the four boys huddled together, ready to pump themselves up for their practice performance. They had been back and forth to the Orpheum for a few days now, getting things ready, figuring out the lighting with the tech, the small bit of blocking they needed onstage, and transporting their instruments in bits. 

In their huddle, they had their arms around each other’s shoulders. “This is the night you guys. This will change our lives. So let's go out there, and rock this shit. Hold nothing back.”

“Fuck yeah!” Bobby cheered and the rest of the boys did too. A stage manager motioned for them that he was all ready to go and so they went and started playing through their set. 

Once they got to Now or Never they realized that Reg had been right in suggesting they play it last. It really was their best. Even without the crowd there, and just a few of the venue’s workers watching them, they could feel the electricity between them when they played. 

Sweat was dripping off them as they made their way over to the girl that was wiping tables. Luke’s heart was racing and the adrenaline was pumping through his veins, he couldn’t even stand still. The boys introduced themselves to the girl, Rose, and shortly after made their way to get street dogs. 

As Reggie, Alex and Luke sat on the dusty old couch, Luke smiled, shaking his head. 

“This is awesome, you guys. We're playing the Orpheum.” Alex smiled wide at his best friend, completely overjoyed by the fact they had done it. They actually made it here. 

“I can’t even count how many bands have played here, and then ended up being huge.” He looked over at Reggie who nodded in agreement, grinning at his two friends. “We're gonna be legends. 

Luke raised his hotdog up in a toast and his friends lifted theirs too. He said “Eat up boys, because after tonight, everything changes.” Together they dug into the dogs, their first real meal of the day. With all the excitement of getting ready for the show, they hadn’t even thought to eat. 

Alex was the first one to notice the strange tingling that came with the bite into the hot dog. It was bitter and stung his tongue a bit. “That’s a new flavor.” He said, trying to convince himself it must have just been something from the grill. 

Reggie leaned over a bit and looked at Alex. “Chill man, street dogs haven’t killed us yet.” It was true, they had dogs countless times after playing by the pier or late night walks after rehearsals. 

Luke noticed what Alex had meant after his second bite, and his face began to sweat a bit. Something was definitely off about them.

But the boys ignored the weird tingle, their hunger too overpowering and scarfed the rest of the hotdogs down, and only a few minutes later, still sitting on the couch was when Luke’s heart started racing and he suddenly felt the sharp pain in his stomach. He grabbed at his abdomen and choked out a sound of pain. 

He looked over at his friends who clearly weren’t looking too well either, Reggie’s pupils looked blown out and his face was coated with a thick sheen of sweat. Alex was coughing next to him, clutching his stomach as well, clearly in pain, his breathing coming back shallow.

“Call an ambulance!” Luke called out, to anyone around, his words awfully hard to get out, and Reggie cried out in pain and twisted his body, clutching his stomach the way the other two had a moment before.

“Luke…” Alex said softly before his hand flew up to cover his mouth, vomit spilling out of it quickly. Reggie’s reflex followed and he threw up on his side of the couch. He cried out in pain and slumped over the arm of the seat.

Luke wanted so badly to comfort them, to reach out and hold Alex’s hand, but letting go of his stomach wasn’t something he was capable of doing at the moment. The pain began to feel overwhelming, and tears reached his eyes, and started spilling down. It started to crawl up to his chest where he grasped at his chest where he felt a stabbing pain on his heart. 

“Guys.” Luke choked out, but it was too hard, his mouth was dry and his lips starting to chap quickly. Before he knew it he had vomited as well, the bit of contents that were in his stomach coming out quickly. 

Alex coughed loudly, choking a bit, and a bit of blood came back up and coated the hands he had used to cover his mouth. He slumped back against the couch, his head pounding forcefully and he closed his eyes, the weight of them too heavy to keep open. 

A stranger was suddenly by them, and Luke realized she was a paramedic, and two others were there as well, an ambulance had shown up when they were crouched over in pain. One was helping Alex sit up, when the man that was helping Reggie called out suddenly, code something or other, and an EMT came running from a second ambulance.

“He’s not breathing.” The EMT called out and Luke opened his eyes to look over at Reggie. Oh God Reggie. His face had gone awfully pale and his mouth covered in blood. The paramedics pulled him up quickly onto a gurney and looked to start CPR as they tried to wheel him to the ambulance. 

“Wait!” Luke tried to call out, but his voice felt hoarse and his energy was at an all time low. Nausea took over him again he was throwing up into his hands once again. The paramedic tried to keep him calm, but as soon as she saw blood in his hands, she called out another code name to her colleagues. 

“Honey, I’m going to need you to stay with me. You can do this. Can you help me help you stand?” Her voice was soft, and sounded like his mother. The sweet reassurance she was trying to give him was the same as Emily every time she had tucked him into bed when he was sick. He cried out, from pain and from fear. 

She helped him up, his arms wrapped around his waist, and another paramedic was by his side helping him get onto the stretcher. As they started wheeling him away he called out Alex’s name. 

“Alex? Is that the blonde boy? They already took him inside of the ambulance sweetie. He’s in the ambulance. Your other friend too. We gotta get you in there.” She pushed his shoulder back softly to get him to lay down and his bones began to feel like jelly. The pain in his stomach was overwhelming and every moment he was trying to fight back the feeling of vomiting again. Once he got inside the ambulance, the fluorescents lighting the bit of space he was in, and the sound of sirens blaring, he threw up directly on the floor of the vehicle, crying out. 

The lady paramedic that told him her name was Sharon, grabbed a bucket and held it under him so that he could vomit into, which he did seconds after. This time, it was just blood. 

“Reggie...Alex...where?” He croaked. Sharon tried to explain to him that Reggie was in the other ambulance, he had been in critical condition. Luke tried to think of every medical television show he had seen, in the very few times he actually watched television, and realized what that had meant. 

It didn’t matter though, because seconds later over the walkie talkie that was attached to her uniform he heard the other paramedic from the other ambulance speak. “We lost the boy.” Luke froze, all of a sudden he felt numb, like the pain had left his body completely. There was no way they could have been talking about Reggie? Reggie, who had been handing out their t-shirts to every girl he could see going to the Orpheum just hours before? 

Reggie was gone.

He heard the sound of Alex’s cry and only then realized Alex had been in the same ambulance as he was, the gurney a few feet away from him. Alex, whose face was pale like Reggie’s had been on the couch, and his pupils the size of the moon. They had hooked up some sort of IV to him and he was laying on his side, his arm reached out as if calling to Luke to grab his hand. His mouth was covered in an alarming amount of blood. 

Luke pushed himself up ever so slightly, with quick protests from Sharon and the pain in his chest and grabbed Alex’s, which felt cold and Alex squeezed his hand back. 

“We’re in this for life.” Luke whispered, or tried to. Alex just stared back at him then closed his eyes, slowly and the grip he had on his hand loosened. 

Luke cried softly, and he didn’t even register Sharon putting a needle in his arm, which must have been for an IV. There was no use though. Luke felt the pain get sharper and sharper in his chest til suddenly he couldn’t feel anything anymore, and his eyes closed, everything turning black. 

—

After the threat of almost dying a second time, the boys, along with Julie were able to celebrate their achievement. Julie and the Phantoms had played the Orpheum, and they rocked it. The crowd loved them, and through that moment they were bonded together forever. 

Julie and Luke had continued to write songs together, and with the new found ability to touch each other, he had been holding onto her every chance he could get. Soft touches, brushing her curls away from her face, and grabbing her hand when he could.

One day, per Julie’s request, they were all cleaning out the loft area and organizing the studio space now that they were officially a full blown band. They needed it to feel like their space, not just Julie and her mom’s. 

While Julie was up in the loft she found a backpack she wasn’t sure she’d seen any of the guys use before, and she knew it definitely wasn’t her mom’s. She unzipped it slowly and found a few spiral notebooks, tons of crumpled up papers, and a brown leather bound book. She looked through the railings to see Alex and Reggie going back and forth, bickering about something that had happened between them, while Luke sat cross legged between them holding his acoustic. 

She sat down and opened the brown notebook, to the first page. Luke’s handwriting. There was a little note in the corner that read _“for those I love_ ”. She flipped through the pages slowly, noticing only a bit of it had been filled out. So Luke was a romantic? Julie wondered who the girl must have been. 

Julie stood up and turned around to see all three of the phantoms behind her, Luke’s eyes huge. She hadn’t even heard them move up there.

“I found this notebook. I’m guessing it’s yours by the look on your face. Don’t worry I didn’t read your love songs.” Julie teased while explaining herself. 

Reg looked around at Luke, “I didn’t know you wrote any love songs!” As if he was hurt that Luke had never told him about them. He looked at Alex. “Did you know about this?” 

“Yeah.” Alex said softly. Luke remembers all those years ago, many years ago now, when he had sat up in bed, Alex snoring softly next to him, and wrote his first love song ever in it.

Julie suddenly felt like she opened a can of worms. She knew the boys all had their own past, history between them and probably tons of other people, and it only made sense Luke had a girl that he left behind before he died. 

“Wait a minute, are those about Alex?” Reggie called out, and a small “oop” escaped his mouth instantly when Alex and Luke both turned their heads glaring at him. “Shouldn’t have said that.” Reggie poofed back down to the main floor, the boys following. Julie bounded down the ladder, the notebook still in her hand.

“Were you guys...together?” Julie asked and Luke looked at her almost guiltily, like he had been caught. He walked over to her and looked down, saying softly “Can we talk?” She nodded and they left Reggie and Alex in the garage. 

“You just had to say something, huh?” Alex snapped at Reggie. But instead he just shrugged. “Hey man, she was bound to find out eventually. Luke tells her everything.” 

—

Later that same night, when Reggie was over in the Molina’s house spending “quality time with Ray”, Alex poofed in to find Luke sitting on his couch, with the brown notebook in his hand, and a pen placed between his ear. 

A wave of nostalgia came over Alex when he appeared in the studio, the moment feeling like hundreds of times before, when Alex would come to Bobby’s late at night to wail on some drums because he was feeling particularly anxious and found Luke there. 

Luke looked up from his notebook as he heard Alex come in and gave him a small smile and gestured for him to come over to the couch. 

“How’s Willie?” Luke asked. After the situation with Caleb, Alex was a bit scared to see Willie again, worried about what Caleb would do if he found out. But Willie assured him he hadn’t seen him in weeks, and that he didn’t want to lose him again.

“He’s good. Whatchya writing?” Alex asked. This too was familiar. 

“Wasn’t really writing as much as I was reading. Julie is totally right. I guess I really am a sap, now looking back at these lyrics.” Luke laughed. 

“You know I remember the day you finally showed them to me. You brought it over here, we sat basically right here...well over there technically.” He gestured to where the couch used to be. “And you pulled out your acoustic and sang a few for me.” Luke smiled. He remembered very well.

“Luke, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but I think you made the right decision. That day. I would’ve been too scared to call this off, and at the end of the day, us being friends is more important. And look where we are now. If we had been together now and broken up we would’ve spent the afterlife resenting each other.” He was rambling at this point.

Luke shook his head. “You know I could never have resented you.” Luke sighed and placed the book down on the coffee table, and swung his feet up, placing them next to it. “But I agree.”

“How’d the talk with Julie go?” 

“It went fine, she didn’t think it was weird or anything. Really sweet and understanding...of course.” 

“You really like her, huh?” Alex asked. Luke nodded, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile. And like he had said to Alex that night at the Ghost Club, Alex shared it all the same. “I notice you do the same things you did to me, dancing around her, the way you grab her hand, flirting. I’m happy for you man. I hope it works out.”

“Me too.” Luke felt his chest get warm, and all he felt was love for his best friend. This family that they had made together now was more than he could ever need. Even after everything, walking out on his mom, and dying, he felt like this was a perfect moment of happiness.

Reggie poofed in right before the silence between the two became awkward and he went right over to the couch, sitting down next to them. 

“Hey guys.”

“Hey Reg.”

“Reg.” 

Reggie chatted for a moment about Ray, about how he thought he was a great dad, and said something out of the blue after.

“I don’t know if I told you guys this but, I’m really glad we're all together still. After the Orpheum I was scared it was going to be like...” They all sat there thinking about the night they had died, how they had been on a couch, sitting just like this moments before the end, unable to help each other. “That night...it was terrifying, and if I’m gonna be honest, I’m glad I went first, because seeing you guys would’ve just been too painful.” Luke looked down at his hands thinking about how he had to watch Alex die, and how the two of them hadn’t even been in the ambulance with Reggie in the first place.

“Basically what I’m trying to say is that I love you both, and if we spent forever in the afterlife together, I wouldn’t be mad.” Luke smiled and pulled both boys in till they were all in a group hug. 

“You know we're in this for life…” Luke paused. “Well I guess death now.”

And with that nothing else mattered. This family right here was all they would ever need, and no matter what they faced in their life, or even now as ghosts, they would do it together.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a long one, but definitely fun to write all the angst. I love deep diving into the emotional connection of the boys, especially Luke and Alex.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> \- T


End file.
